My Fertility Plan Blog: Your Conception Action Plan

Saying Good-Bye to Chris...

For the last several months friends of My Fertility Plan have been following the story of Chris and Maddie Cook.  It is with great sorrow that we announce the passing of Chris Cook.  Please remember Maddie and her family in your thoughts and prayers. Cook, Christopher Eugene*	View/Sign Guest Book
Family-Placed Death Notice COOK, Christopher CHRISTOPHER EUGENE COOK Beloved husband and son, Christopher Eugene Cook, age 34 of Dallas, went to his eternal resting place on Wednesday, April 8, 2009. He is survived by his loving wife of eight years, Madeline Bianca Cook; mother, Gerry Lynn Guth and husband Stan of Marietta; father Ralph Terry Cook and wife Debby of Coxs Creek, KY; father-in-law, Jack Terrio of New Orleans, LA; sisters, Diana Miltiades of Dacula, GA, Kimberly Youmans of San Diego, CA, Jill Fairchild of Cumming, GA and Melinda Hammond of Shepherdsville, KY, sister-in-law, Mia Terrio of Decatur, GA; grandmother, Gerry A. Hollingsworth of Savannah; as well as many aunts and uncles, nieces, nephews and a large loving group of friends. Chris was known as the ultimate "Leader of the Pack," sharing his love for life with everyone he knew. He was known as a sly fox and Chris enjoyed motorcycles, fishing, golf, poker and was a major sports enthusiast. In honor of Chris, a memorial service will be held at 1 pm Saturday, April 11, at Hope United Methodist Church in Dallas. For those who would like to attend, there will be a memorial bike ride after the service which will commence back at their home for a get together to celebrate his life. In lieu of flowers, donations of canned goods may be dropped off at the church or to your local food bank in Chris's name. Condolences to the Cook family may be made at www.westgeorgiacrematory.com. Arrangements by West Georgia Crematory.

Chris & Maddie's Adventure: The End of the Wait

Dear My Fertility Plan Readers and Friends~

I just don't understand why this is happening. Is it not enough that I spent my childhood watching the majority of my family die right in front of my eyes? And when I survived and learned to move on, I marry the man of my dreams and spend our entire marriage struggling to start our life only for his childhood cancer to resurface and watch him die as well. I am beginning to wonder if I am just not worthy of having children of my own.
 
Maybe I am just one of those people who have to suffer during their life to be an example to others, but I still don't want to give up. I would not have be born with an insatiable desire to become a mother if it was not to happen. My husband is absolutely devasted. I have considered possibly trying IUI, but again I have to come up with the funding. I just don't know what to do. I know that most people would say take time to grieve, but I don't want to do that, as we took time to grieve the first time thus the reason we waited so long to try again. The part that just really kills me, is that the doc said that there was no medical reason I couldn't get pregnant. So what went wrong, was it the donor? I just don't know. Just like my husband doesn't want to give up his fight, I don't want to give up mine either. I know most people would say that I need to take some time, but time is of the essence, and I feel like I have taken too much time.
 
I would like to thank you, Evelina, Anne @ Village Pharmacy, Dr. Li Liu, and Art of Touch Massage for all of their support and warm wishes. I am so blessed to have all of you be a part of this, although the outcome was unsuccessful.
 
I would like to try an IUI asap, to see if I might have better success, but I will have to wait until I can come up with the funds to do so.
 
Thank you again for everything that you did to help us. For all of the time and sweat that you put in to making this dream a reality. I think the biggest thing that I am most upset with is that I have disappointed everyone who backed us for so long. I only hope that I will be able to get pregnant in the very near future so that all of this hard work will not be in vain.

Very sincerely yours,

Maddie

From Angie and Evelina--

We would like to extend a huge thank you to all our readers and friends as well for supporting Maddie and Chris in their journey over the past several weeks.  We are honored to have been able to participate in this outstanding "team effort" in assisting Maddie and Chris.  Maddie and Chris--please know that our thoughts and prayers will forever be with you.  Your strength and dermination simply amaze us.  You will always be a part of the My Fertility Plan family, and please don't ever hesistate to let us know if we can be of any further help to you.  Y

Chris and Madde's Amazing Journey: It’s Official… We’re Almost There..

Tuesday 3/17/09   It’s Official… We’re Almost There..
 
 
 Okay, so I went to my appt this morning for blood work and we got the results back a little bit ago. Labs look great, but they want give me one more day Progesterone than originally written prior to the transfer. So this means my transfer will be on Monday instead of Friday.
 
At first I was kind of bummed that it wasn’t going to happen this week because I was so excited we were getting so close, but that is okay, I have waited this long I can wait until Monday.
 
“Come on day, just hurry up and get here so I can be reunited with my babies.” Chris’s appt went pretty well.
 
 I was very pleased to hear his oncologist back the family up when it comes to Chris’s diet. As hard as we have tried to get him to eat as of right now he has dwindled down to 131 lbs and this is not what we need to help him feel better. The problem is Chris knows he needs to eat but his body has no desire for nourishment. Part of this is caused by the massive amounts of pain meds he is on to control the pain caused by the cancer but as the meds are doing their job, they are also masking the natural result of hunger pains that tells your body it’s time to eat.
 
 If we could get him to listen and eat a fuller diet I think he would have a completely different outlook on things, but gaining some weight is key, to giving him more energy and bumping up his mood. Besides he needs to get stronger so that we can enjoy as much of this pregnancy together as we can.
 
His doc has mandated that we changed his appetite stimulant to a more concentrated liquid from pill form that he has been taking and put him on a 2500 calorie diet a day for the next month. The goal is for him to gain and maintain 5 lbs or more. I know that if he puts his mind to it this is completely doable. But it is definitely going to be a challenge.
 
4 days till our transfer!!
 
Please lead us through this miraculous journey! 
  
   
Madeline

Chris and Maddie's Amazing Journey- Still on Track

Saturday 3/14/09 -  STILL ON TRACK
 
 
So the doc said yesterday that my estrogen is a little low, so we are bumping up to 0.3cc and hoping that I don’t ovulate over the weekend.
 
Today my ovulation test was negative so we are still on track. My IVF nurse says pending the estrogen level getting higher we may still be on for a transfer on Friday or possibly Monday. It is getting so close I can hardly stand it!!
 
This weekend has begun with a bang. Chris’s parents- Pop and Deb came in yesterday around lunchtime to spend the weekend with us, and later today we are expecting a houseful. An aunt from Savannah, GA , an aunt and cousin from Johnson City, TN, another cousin from Kingsland, GA, and then of course the normal fair of his mom and Stan, his uncle Rick and his Aunt Margaret. Pop’s (Chris’s dad) birthday was yesterday so we ended up going out for BBQ and later on tonight when the rest of the fam gets here we are going out for Japanese to celebrate his birthday. Should be fun with the show the staff normally puts on.
 
Chris is feeling pretty good today, still very tired, but slowly but surely he is coming out of recovery from his surgery a few weeks ago.
 
Later today Chris stepmom, Deb and I are going to see a friend about a tattoo for Deb. She is thinking about fairy and possibly a moon, with Chris’s name placed somewhere in it. She is planning on putting in on her back. This is her first tattoo so this should be interesting. The best advice I could give is # 1 don’t think it’s not going to hurt and # 2 Breathe.
 
Besides, the pain only lasts a little while and in my experience- it was well worth it. 
 
 
 
Madeline
 
 

Friday 3/13/09: Absolutely Amazing- I Love Dr. Liu!!

 
So special thanks to Angie Best- Boss and myfertilityplan.com for hooking me up with a referral to a wonderful accupuncturist- Dr. Li Liu. Normally, I am not really a big fan of needles but on Angie's recommendation, I thought what the heck, I'll check it out...
 
I met with Dr. Liu this afternoon for my first accupuncture appt and it was absolutely amazing, in fact, the experience was totally different that I could've ever imagined. First of all it was nearly painless, the best way to explain it from my perspective is like being snapped by a loose rubberband or someone lightly flicking you with their finger.
And the results.... REALLY AWESOME!!!
 
I went in with HUGE almost welt sized tension knots in my shoulders and by the end of the session, they were completely gone!
 
Dr. Liu is very sweet and extremely gentle, and let me tell the Lady REALLY KNOWS HER STUFF!!
 
1) She takes the time to really ask questions and clarify any pre-existing medical, psychological, and emotional issues before getting started so that she can select the best course of treatment completely customized specifically to your body and mind.
 
2) She really listens to your concerns and makes it her mission to resolve those stressed areas by the end of your session.
 
and  Finally  3) She's smart and very informative- Here's an example: Did you know that accupuncture naturally stimulates the uterine lining to thicken? Pretty cool stuff.
 
After my session and a much deserved cat snooze I was greeted with her soft voice and seemed to feel my body naturally balancing itself. I was much more relaxed than at the beginning of my session and it was a much needed sensation after the stress over the past couple of months.
 
I can't wait till I have the chance to go back and have another relaxing session.
 
Thank you so much Dr. Liu!! You are absolutely amazing!
 
Accupuncture Rocks!!!!!
 

Maddie

Editor's note:  Dr. Liu is based in Atlanta, GA and her website is:  http://www.drliliu.com/

Chris and Maddie's Amazing Journey: 1 week to go

Friday 3/13/09     What a Busy day-- Whoo I'm tired......
 
 
So after last night's exam I am starting to feel a little of the stress start to melt away. I believe I did pretty well on my accounting exam, I just hope I did well enough to get the grade I need.
 
Today started off a little crazy- had to make breakfast for Chris before heading to my first Dr.'s appt to have my saline sonohistogram. Traffic wasn't bad so I made it in pretty good time and they were able to see me fairly quickly. According to my doctor everything looks right on schedule except for "one thing".
 
Okay breaking away let me humor you with a little bit of a fertility debocle-
You see upon starting my fertility drugs this time I was told that I would be given two types of syringes to dipense my shots with. The instructions sent by the pharmacy were perfectly labeled and the instructions the Dr..'s office gave seemed to be clear. However, my "one thing" the Dr. found wrong was that my uterine lining wasn't quite as thick as she would've have liked.
 
Now in my past fertility we never had a problem getting me to this point so luckily after more carefull review, I realized I was dispensing the drugs wrong!!!! We caught early enough so that things should still be okay. Now before fingers are pointed here's the humorous part: You see when the IVF nurse was instructing me on the proper amount of estrogen to be dispensed she was giving me the instructions when using the large needle forgetting that the Dr. had ordered two types of syringes small and large. So instead of dispensing the meds through the 2nd line of the large syringe, I was dispensing meds through the 2nd line of the small syringe which meant I was dispensing 1/20 off what I really needed. Now at first I was kind of panicked that I may have really messed up but fortunately, My lining was slowly developing on its own with just a little help from the 1/20 dose I giving myself. What a mess!!
 
Fortunately, when learning about this mixup the Doc said we could try to increase the estrogen a little to speed things up and hopefully as long as I don't ovulate this weekend there is still a chance that I can move forward with the procedure this Friday 3/20.
 
 
Fingers crossed and prayers said this is going to work....

Chris and Maddie's Amazing Adventure: 8 days to go!

Thursday  3/12/09 :    Today’s Goal: Breathe Deep, Be Calm, Stay Positive
 
 
Things are finally starting to wind down in school. I only have three more class sessions and then I am through for now. My accounting final exam
 is this evening and then it’s time to focus my energy to positive thinking for tomorrow. Tomorrow morning, I am scheduled for a 2nd and final ultrasound
 to determine, if are still a go for next week’s ET cycle, so we are keeping our fingers crossed that there will be no complications. 
 
We are getting so close, that I am starting to get a little nervous and trying to remain calm and positive. Chris has had few rough days due to complications
 with pain meds, but he seems to be getting a little better each day. We are both very excited that we are almost there and are both hoping that tomorrow will be more good news.
 
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers over the next couple of days.
 
“Please Lord, you have carried us this far, please allow us to continue on this journey to conception…Amen”
 
This weekend should bring a few exciting details: Pop and Deb (the other half of Chris’s parents) are coming down from Kentucky to visit this weekend as well as a few of his aunts, a cousin, and another close friend who are coming from Savannah, GA to see us also. Pop’s birthday is tomorrow so it will really nice for him to be able to spend the day with Chris as we normally don’t get to see him on his birthday. Since the weather is calling for rain most the weekend, the plan is to take it easy and enjoy each other’s company and maybe go out to dinner. Chris’s goal this week has been to build up strength in order to go out to dinner with his dad Saturday night for his birthday which should be fun.
 
At some point in time I will have to break away from the festivities to study for my last final exam in English on Wed. I can’t wait till this quarter is over and I can take advantage of a much deserved break.
 
Only 8 more days to go!!!
 
 
 
 
Madeline

Chris and Maddie's Amazing Adventure: counting down...

Monday 3/2/09       

 

WE ARE FINALLY HOME....... YAY!!!!!

 

 

What an absolute nightmare! Chris was scheduled for "fairly" routine brain surgery and was originally scheduled to be released to go home on Sat pm. Now due to the on- call Dr. being such a slacker and not taking care of Chris's pain issues right away, we have lost two precious days that we can never get back. Am I angry about it? Hell yeah, I'm angry about it.

 

But you know, there's nothing I can do to get those days back, so I have decided to quit wasting my energy on worrying about and focusing on being thankful that we are home and moving forward.

 

Chris is feeling fairly good today and is grateful to be home. He is tired, but that is to be expected after the past two tumultous days we have experienced. To recap- After dealing with myself and Momma (Chris's mom and one of my best friends), the on-call Dr. finally saw it our way late Sunday evening and changed Chris pain meds regime to reflect what he was already taking at home. Miraculosy (go figure) Chris seemed to improve overnight.

 

He is still very weak, but it is quite drastic in the difference it has made in Chris's attitude and Will to fight now that he is comfortable and back in his own home. So far, the sutures seem to be healing quite well and we are scheduled to go back next Wed 3/11 for suture removal and a check up.

 

Keep your fingers crossed that the cancer is sleeping and won't wake back up.

 

On the Baby Front:

 

I can't believe we are officially on the countdown now~ 16 days and counting before our babies will be coming home (in the womb)!!

 

My ultrasound last Friday went very well and I am scheduled for my saline sonohistogram next Friday 3/13. So far everything looks really good!!  I am settling back into taking my meds daily and so far the shots haven't been too bad, in fact they are better than I remember.

 

"Come On Lord, we almost there, just keep us calm as possible and keep us on track... Amen"

Chris and Maddie's Amazing Adventure: Finally In a Room.....

Saturday 2/28/09

 

Finally In a Room.....

 

Today has been a major disappointment, after seeing Chris feeling so much better yesterday, you would hardly recognize him today. He is in so much pain that he has been sleeping for most of the day and isn't really interested in eating anything, and the worst part is that the pain is not caused as a result of his surgery, but of the doctors not prescribing enough medication to be administer to control the pain caused from the other tumors throughout his body. I am still fighting the doctor to switch Chris pain regime to the pain meds he is taking at home. I almost think he might be going into withdrawal, if they don't do something soon, I may just have to start administering his meds myself.

 

This is so not good, I hope they fix this problem soon 'cause if not the hospital REALLY doesn't want to be introduced to "the wrath of Maddie." 

 

Trust me it's not advisable and really not pretty......

Chris and Maddie's Amazing Journey: Recuperating

Friday 2/27/09

 

 

 

Yesterday was long and hard, but today has been a very good day -

 

 

As most of you know, Chris's surgery was mostly successful, although we have a very long road ahead of us before we know if this has worked or not. Two more weeks of recovery before we can even try radiation.

 

Since there was nowhere suitable to sleep (not even a big enough piece of floor), I ended up going home for the night.

 

Before coming up to the hospital today to see Chris, I had a dr.'s appt this morning for a baseline ultrasound in preparation for our FET cycle. The doc says "so far so good, everything looks great."

 

I am starting injections this Sunday with a follow up appt and saline sonohistogram scheduled for the 13th of next month!!!!

 

As long as we stay on target our transfer is tentatively scheduled for the 20th of March.

 

It's getting so close it's almost here.

 

"Please Lord, let us get this right this time........."

 

 

Back to Chris......

 

When I got to the hospital this afternoon,Chris looked amazing. He was wide awake and seemed to be feeling pretty good with the exception, that the incisions made during his surgery were a little painful still, but they are trying to keep him as comfortable as possible.

 

The positive side- is that it seems with the removal of the tumors there has been a lot of pressure released off of his brain and he has also experienced other positive effects such as decreased nausea and increased appetite.

 

We have been waiting most of the day to be transferred to a regular room so I hope that will happen over the next few hours, it will be nice to once again have a little privacy and quiet where he and I can relax and focus on getting him better.

 

As I sit here in the ICU waiting room, I think I hear him being wheeled my way so hopefully they are finally taking him for the MRI needed to move him to his own room.

 

More to come.....