Scramble, Addictions and Insecurities, Oh my.

I love Facebook.

Specifically, I love the games.  Wordtwist is good.  Bubble word is cool.  Pathwords is ok.  But hands-down – my all time favorite is Scramble.  I love that game.  Most of the time.  Like, when I’m in 1^st place.  Which, I humbly submit, I usually am – among my friends, that is.

 

The problem is, I’m not right now – thanks to an overachieving wordsmith arch nemesis (i.e. church friend) named Thom Horn.  We have been neck in neck for weeks, and he finally beat me badly.  By 19 points, if I were counting.  Which I’m not.  Sorta.

 

So, I’m losing.  Still in 2^nd, mind you, and leaving the pastor’s wife in the dust.  But it bugs me.  I know it isn’t just that I’m competitive.  It’s my old insecurities that keep popping up now and then.  See, if I’m first, then it proves I’m smart.  Somehow the fact that I’ve got three books coming out next year doesn’t do it for me.  I still worry deep down that people who know me will find out it’s all smoke and mirrors.

 

It reminds me of the trying to conceive days.  And those of other women I talk to.  One more month.  One more cycle.  One more herb, IUI, meditative CD, one more credit card bill.  I can’t figure out when to stop playing Scramble – is it no wonder I didn’t know when or how to put the brakes on then?

 

Early this morning, I couldn’t sleep and my husband found me in my office, hunched over the computer, glassy-eyed and weary, trying to eke out one more friggin point in Scramble.  Ever so gently, he put his hand on my shoulder and turned off the computer.

 

We should all be so lucky.  Sometimes, when our craziness gets the best of us – and old insecurities and fears terrify us –having a friend nearby is the best it gets.

 

Thom, I concede.  This round at least.  But, I’ll probably be back.

Comments

[Tracy Morris]

Sweet. It is so true that arms around us can be what we need more, at times, than wide open arms.

[Marna Gatlin]

Wow you are very kind, if my husband had turned off my computer, he'd be left with a bloody stump:):)

Facebook is addicting:)